Friday, March 30, 2007

Ramble On

WARNING: Contains swearing!

I've been thinking about the whole procreation, inheritance thing recently...and mutants.

The amazingness of Life Itself aside, DNA is a really, really weird and wonderful, I'm not going to get all scientific on you, more can be read here.

We humans have this weird trait of passing on some really fucked-up chromosomal messages...then we add to it by fucking up our offspring (ourselves!) with our own half-baked notions, memes, insecurities and all the other things that actually go towards making us human.

It's futile for me to hope that I don't do either of these things to Lil, after all, the genetic thing is pretty much fixed in stone flesh and I'm consciously trying not to fuck with her mind (which may, conversely, fuck with her mind), but I still worry.

This is what I worry about, apart from all the usual "things parents worry about"...and "things people worry about"...and work...and (sly wink to TGF)...'Dave': Baldy Bits and Clawfingers.

So, the Congenital Triangular Alopecia is just a rare freak out my Ma & Pa's zygotes concocted. To be honest, it's never really bothered me even though it meant I got called names at school...that meant I got quite good at fighting and not caring too much what people say. Kids are mean anyway...and I never stood a chance being a lanky, ginger weirdo; I went from nerdy, introspective Queen-fan to nerdy, introspective goth (have you ever seen a ginger goth? What the fuck was I thinking...?) to...well, let's just say I think I was a bit of a c*nt for a few, I have no idea. I'm Flo's dad is what I am.

The Dupuytrens thing is a bit different. I swear it's down to my shoddy guitar style and too many years playing bass, but given that Dad has it too and that there is apparently a family history this one is almost certainly going to get to Lil...though apparently women are less susceptible. Some say it means I have viking blood in me....Guri The Red FTW!

Anyway, I'm just back from Romania and all I'll say is:

- The receptionist in the hotel was just like Borat....Quote: "Here is nice, but in this area are maaany gypsies..."
- 10 minutes later I saw a woman get mugged
- Romanians like meat....a lot.
- There are, in fact, maaaany gypsies!
- The entire 40 hour trip was for a 4 hour meeting.....
- I hate airports

Got a few days holiday coming up over Oestre so should get some extra Flotime and spend a bit of quality time with TGF too. Here's hoping...

...Off to London on Wednesday for a Sooper-Seekrit (TM the bossman) meeting, wait....

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Thou Shall Not Make Repetitive Generic Music!


Thanks Buck (I assume)!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

The Hardest Thing [EDIT]

The hardest thing I do (and I do it each week) is leave the child.

I know she's taken care of. I know she is happy, learning and loved...but I have to leave her. Ah, me....

Then watch a Kids vs Parents football match in the park. From my window...but I have blinds...they have cider-drinking tramps and's all relative...

Oh, wait....Fast Food Nation to, might post from Romania for laughs... X

!ZOMFG!1Onw!!....I missed this??

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Food Dude

Good Evening. Here is the news...

First off, Lil (not called her that on here for a while) is so funny at the moment. It seemed when she was first born that she was just the most amazing thing in the world, but as she gets older, learns, becomes herself and generally does what humans do and socialise...interact with people and her environment she just gets amazinger!

Ummmm...Yeah, it's amazing!

Had a busy old week at work, despite the hilarity of Tuesday's musical extravaganza, Wednesday's holiday of sorts and the return of some sanity to the project. Last night, ate pizza and salad with Missman (forevermore to be known here as "Teh GF"...and perhaps TGF for short)...went to the pub and met some peeps she knows local like. Back for Children of Men, which is a great film, but didn't really do anything new for me new-wise. Rum & Apple Juice is maybe gonna be my 'cocktail' of choice for a while though.

Lazy lie-in and then TGF and I hanging around starving, waiting for our Bacon Sandwiches & Tea (and must be written so), which ended up with my official bestest breakfast evar being best 'brunch' ever....I believ, TGF and I also concluded that not only am I a bit of a geek, but I am a dork also...heheheh....Whale penis ;)

next week....wooo....but I miss a Flonight...booo!

Picked up Lil and had a bit of a chatter with Rose while playing Booboo (peep-bo) and watching Teh Chile run around randomly having a 'siddown'...she did however choose her own coat when asked. She got the wrong one, but she got a coat...and she does look cute in it. She may have to re-wear the gingham flares she was wearing today too...they look so cool.

She and I spent the evening eating dinner as I prepared it.

Tuna baked with Fennel & Lemon. Parsnip & Carrot Mash. Spring Greens. Beetroot. Roasted Pepper....since you asked.

Talking (yes! talking....I can have some kind of conversation with my daughter other than the sign/noise/guess technique) and ended up with a kind of free-for-all bowl extravaganza at the end. Big ol' bath (got some video I need to sort out and upload at some point) then book & luuvverllly cuddles before she looked me in the eye and said...

"Milk, daddy? Bed."

I love my daughter!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Return To The Forbidden Planet

Dancing with sunbeams....

It got pretty intense...foot-stamping, hand-waving and shouting...

I must have had the luckiest couple of days I've ever had...long story short:

- I'm owed quite a lot of money...and a considerable bit extra per month from now on!
- I don't have to go to Paris tomorrow...and the early April trip looks a bit easier now
- Interflora boosted their fuck-up bouquet with some chocolates. Sorry for swearing Ma...


- Flo. Is. Hilarious!

- And gorgeous at the same time

- I went to the best ever school musical thing last night with Missman: Return To The Forbidden Planet, in Bristolian!! was the best theatre I have ever seen!....there is no sarcasm here...just a sly grin.
- Loving, loving, loving being with Teh Laydee...without wishing to get all ghey or anything

- I have mastered that chinese 'seaweed' thing you get in chinese restaurants (the stuff that isn't actually's greens/cabbage)....mine's no-fat, no-salt...and really tasty.

The other picture made it look even more like jazz-baccy ;)

Oh. Hi to Liz, who I bumped into last Sunday....Teh Ricolah: let's go for drinks instead!...and Riobard del Brono: return my calls you bastard!

Sunday, March 18, 2007


So. Ups and and downs.

Interflora owe me bigtime for not delivering flowers the day before Mothers Day (apostrophe?...who cares). That's a big black mark in their book and free shit, or else! I possibly deserve a kick for not doing more in the 1st place [ahem...bag of consumer-glorified hokey shite!]

Why can Lil say "kick-kin" or "hit-ting" but not "Bob Marley"?
Why is a horse called a 'kaggle'?
What's so fascinating about lipstick (or 'meh ip-tik-meh meh!!')?

This weekend, apart from the above:

- Had a wonderful evening and morning with Missman...loads of YouTube too...
- Cooked me and Flo a mega-tea...tuna & greens FTW!
- Slept and played....well, I napped & supervised...
- Got out in the fresh air with Teh Chile and Teh Ladee...PIK! WeeeRRreeeeEEEe!!!
- Bumbled about, but my is it not suddenly chilly?

You're bored now, I can tell. I can't be arsed to 'piccy you up'.

Go to sleep!

Friday, March 16, 2007


Do not watch this video while fact, do not watch this video!


Thanks Atheist In A Minivan!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

It went a little something like this...

As usual, what I expect a work trip to be like is not how it goes. I thought I'd thought of every conceivable combination of joys and woes this time round, but now I realise the one true answer is to go with the flow...

...Which reminds me, hopefully I'll get a bit of time with Flo tomorrow as I'm WFH and then being a bit slack due to time in lieu (love that phrase...and the is, after all, fair: I missed my Flo-night this week coz I had to go to Lyon for work).

Long story short, it went a little something like this....

Tuesday 13th March:
- 8am-2pm Work
- Teh B055man (hereon in aka TB) drives us to the airport in Landy (so slow!)
- TB and I get gypped at Security due to no plastic bags (deliberate rebellion on our part, heh!)
- Couple of pints of the black stuff in honour of St Patrick
- glass o' wine and a heated-to-the-core-of-a-star temperature shitwich
- Lands a bit early, yay!
- But still think we have to rush for connecting flight in Brussels...have to walk miles and go through passport control and then security again (ALL airports suck....they're just misery-channels!)
- Get to gate, which conveniently has a bar right next to it with time to spare for 2 more (Belgian this time) beers
- We've gained an hour too, remember...Flight...'nother free glass o' wine, but this time with nice sandwiches (swapped one with TB so I had no evil tomato)
- Land, Taxi, Hotel...
- 2 seconds after walking into hotel room, text from TB: Bar?
- 2 minutes later: in bar
- 4 or 5 beers and a double shit...Pissed! Right! Up!...barely remember going to room....
- Bed. Tortured sleep. Left curtains open, am entwined in 7 billion sheets and blankets, hungover!

Wednesday 14th March:
- Shower, breakfast, coffee, bill...WAHAY!!! Barman forgot to charge us a single thing!!!
- Walk a mile or so to the meeting place with a decidedly rough (read: still drunk) TB
- 10-5 Meeeeeeetttttt--tttttttiiing!......amazingly not incredibly dull, but marred by constant drilling and hammering as offices are rebuilt around us....and a wierd-ass lunch-in-a-box
- Taxi, Airport....Oh Noes!!!
- Flight late (and we only have 30 odd mins to change flights). Free wine and sanger again though ;)
- Literally run a kilometre to get to Passport control, and then another to get to Security...get to gate with 10 mins to spare....a small delay t the plane thank god....time for a quick Amstel!
- Phone Missman I am so overjoyed I haven't missed flight!
- Flight. Free glass of wine....but I need coffee even though it's 10pm or something. Nuclear shitwich again.
- Land, usual malarkey with passport, bid farewell to TB and head for Taxi place. Got my hour back now, so it's 10ish.
- Tearful french woman, huge queue and nobody admitting to speaking I did my good samaritan thing (I spikka da lanwich loike a nayeteev!) and found someone who was going the same way so they could split the £100 (!!!) taxi fare...
- Taxi...Home....Bed!!!

Today...up at 6 and in work by 8 :(

If you enjoyed that little summary of one of my so-called "jollies" the name is partially justified...stay tuned next week for: "Paris in a day!" and the week after that is sure to be "My Eastern Bloc Hell: Romania AND bust!".

That is all!

Sunday, March 11, 2007


Seems Spring is here. Today at least...

Thank You Sara!

A nice Friday to complement a rather busy week and then a Saturday morning mooch with Missman. Went a bit bonkers with dinner after Rosie dropped Flo off; I kept cooking various things until I realised the time, so we had:

Steamed Tuna with some roasted lime, slow-cooked onions & PepPers, sweetcorn, rice with nori flakes and hemp seeds and some sprouting brocolli on the side...some apple a bit later on for pudding.

A big bath with lots of 'bupples' [which must be said in an almost reverential whisper]

Today, after porridge and Bagpuss we bumbled about until the morning nap, then I attempted to tidy up before our lunchdate at BFC with Missman...I did most of the eating, Flo chased a boy in circles for a while and then we decamped (via mine for the buggy as 0.005mph is no speed for an adult) to the Farm where goats ate Flo's shoes and most animals (except 'Pik!' & 'Dak-Dak!') were ominously absent.

Just gimme a sec, yeah?...

A pint! A pint on a Sunday the sunshine (ish)....for about 30 seconds it was pure bliss...the rest was just fairly amazing. Makeup skillz for the Missman...I may need to buy a lipstick for those occasional 'Oh Noes, what's left to entertain Flo?' moments!

Back home, where we both napped for an hour, before taking her back to Rose with a bonus 200Gb of media to Lyon this week, though I fear I'll be stuck in airports having missed connections most of the time (I mean, come on, 30 mins between 1 landing and next take-off....twice? On the last flights of the day?....)

I wish I had a picture of Teh Chile in the corduroy jacket with the pink turnups and the lilac summer'll have to use your imagination unless you saw it.

It's not shitting, it's not fitting....all I want is...MEH MEH MEH!

If YouTube is being ghey again please click here to access a video of Flo (which in retrospect looks less safe than it did at the time) having a go on a slide...

Friday, March 09, 2007

What in the name of....#'&$(£"?!?!?!

I'm not even going to explain how I found this...

Japan, man....them kerraazy!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


Got carried away with my strategic essay on things to do in the future with future technology in the ideal world.

Meant to watch Battlestar in which (SPOILER ALERT) apparently Starbuck dies!


I'm now looking at a cold bath full of toy animals looking forlornely at the tiger flannel...


Reuters Blok

I've spent most of the day with a blog post in the back of my mind, but for the life of me I'm not able to start it right now. Probably due to the quick dash to Belgium earlier this week, a technical document to finish and the general onslaught of work. Off to Lyons next week, with some interesting 30 minute between flights connections!

And I kinda got stagefright. Thanks Reader....joking.

I'll say this much though; I love being The Daddy...Here's just a few reasons why:

- I was about to do the (mountain of) washing up, when Flo sidled up to me lifted her arms and asked, "Daddy cuddle?"...that took a good half an hour. Washing up still not done.
- Bupples! the Bart!
- Watching her demolish the food I lovingly created (and not caring about spillage)
- Watching her demolish the lovingly crafted tower of wooden blocks I made her
- Dancing with her....and her dancing on me
- Tickles
- Snuggling on the sofa in 'jamas' with a book
- The way she runs for her milk when I say "It's time for bed"

In other news...I have nothing to report except that the hair has been very well received...look at these instead, I'm off to snooze on the sofa til it's safe to re-use the bathwater (topped up with piping hotness natch) and wind up smelling of lavender.

Her dinner...there's nori flakes and lemon on the rice to counteract my guilt at the breadcrumbed fish.

Halfway through...I'd eaten mine at this point and was tidying up and forgot to do the 'after' pic.

So here's a shot from the other day. She's definitely a girl, what with her love for 'shOOsh', 'booTS', 'begs' and 'haTs'...

In true 'overly proud parent' style here is a (bad) video of the lady herself in conversation...shame she refused to say Bupples more than once as she'd been saying little else all night.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Cursed, Cained & Crucified

That's a reference to Gorky's Zygotic Mynci that!

So, the the guribox is up and running again, which means the gurinet contains: gurimac, guribox, monstro, daptop and 1.8Tb of storage...all visible on 2 x 19" of which is wide screen for all that media goodness.

I am incredibly tired, as I slept really badly last night. So much so that I kept disturbing Flo, who ended up in bed with me at 2. We didn't get up til 6:30...but still. She also refused a morning nap and will hopefully now sleep until 3ish (she went down at 1:30).

Lovely dinner of Mushroom & Tuna Carbonara last night....yes, I made that! Oat Groats with Goji Berries, Cashews and Hemp seeds for breakfast. Avocado, Brocolli, roasted Peh-puh and a vege pie for lunch today...I love feeding Teh Chile.

- Bought her a skirt (to be worn over trousers natch) and a dress today.
- My screensaver is apparently 'bubbles'
- She almost repeated 'quadraped' to me last night..."Kodageg"!
Loads of new words and starting to form simple phrases...'Hat ON', 'Door, bye', 'Daddy Keggle' (cuddle!! FTW!)
- Lots lots more for me, but that's your lot

'Chats' tonight (groan), Belgium tomorrow and back for Flotime on Wednesday...


The eye of a whale!


At this point I just have to cuddle and squeeze


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