...sheeple.
I finally capitulated and bought me an ipod. Not just any ipod, the 32 gig Touch.
Holy fuck! It's awesome....I've only about half-filled it! 6 days (Days!) of music, 8 hours of video, 1200 photos and about a gazillion applications.
I'm in love. And that's why I didn't post this last night; I was too busy collecting album art, playing with Bloom (Brian Eno's generative music app) and converting files from DivX/AVI to MP4.....
Fuck you, you fucking money grabbing cunts. Not only are you fucking incompetent you can't for the fucking life of you manage to realise where the fuck I am. I want to withdraw money in a foreign land: Give me it! I want to spend more than £500 in one transaction without you phoning me up and asking if I'm a ginger-haired fuckwit! Fuck you! It's MINE!!!!
Most of all I would like a pizza.
Now stop fucking with my money, stop pretending that you need my retinal imprint and allow me to purchase some thin-crust awesomeness.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggggggh!!!!!!!!!!!one11!!!!
So. I've done something a bit ostentatious. Nothing major...but y'know between the taxman, the govarmentals, doomsayers, naysayers, yaysayers and the fact that the TV I bought on the cheap a couple of years ago has no decent inputs (other than SCART), weighs a solid metric ton, and thus is both harshing my eyes when using it as a "desktop monitor" and requires a "box o' tricks" adapter to work with the-mac (which is my media machine), Bro is off to Sumatra and is lending me his Wii...wait....there's a justification in there somewhere.
I bought a new TV....now the-mac gets DVI->HDMI (yay...HD!), the Wii can have whatever it wants, it's got built in freeview (for what that's worth....they all have them these days apparently), it's bigger (32 of her majesties inches), and not made by Tesco. I think it weighs 1/4 of the current dude.
Also, I fucking love re-arranging all my wires and stuff. I'm an optimisation freak...this is going to be my most exciting Friday night for a while!!...the-mac, amp, tv, usb things, audio cables...it'll be very minimal compared to now.
[mum, close your eyes...]
Even with my 32 Gig-I-FUCKING-POD!*
[ok, open them]
I might even post an "un-boxing".
You lucky, lucky people!
* Sorry for the swearing mum (i'm very excited)...
...is good news, as they say. And after the few hints, I have no news....which is cool.
I'm in-de-fucking-structible!
I will, however, be making an appointment with a plastic surgeon (I think we are supposed to call them "cosmetic surgeons", if anything at all) in a couple of months. He said, "You should shave before you come...[grin] or we can shave you on the day"...I said I'd shave....
Might get some tits while I'm there. Something perky for the summer!
Anyway. Paris trip was actually rather better than usual. Flights not too bad, hotel was OK, shit breakfast but well located, and the weather was sunny for the "easy" day and freeeezing on the "busy", luckily we were in a massive, overly hot, windowless room most of day 2...Typical industrialised (e.g. decommissioned telephone exchange from the 70s repurposed very badly) office and meeting room, but a constructive and efficient meeting (as efficient as the french get, even when goaded by my fearsome anger-rod of iron!). Late back last night though...and I was pretty mcuh forced to eat at McDonalds in CDG airport (please....please, don't ask how/why).
Hey-dee-ho...
Moshi has been very pleased to see me back...and Flo too, by all accounts
"It's like a bubble car dad!"
"But Glimmer doesn't have this kind of dress!!!"
"10..."
Running-jump over the small wall with a 6 foot drop on the other side...
"9...Where have you gone dad?"
"Back in a moment, keep counting!"...Sprint in an arc over loose gravel towards likely looking leg-up...
"8..."
Smash various pieces of brittle wood while vaulting the fence..."Noth..."
"Se...What's that noise?...Ven!"
"...thing"...Land atop compost bin and parachute roll across the 'lawn'
"6!"
Sprint through house avoiding leg-winding cat....nearly there.
"5....Oh Hi!"
Open door to bemused looking neighbour getting out of car and Flo licking a lollipop.
"This is my dad. He's a good burglar!"
"Sorry...keys...fence...ok now....come on Flo that's looking, erm...drippy."
:-D
Today I locked us out of the house, typical "just pop to the shop, moshi'll look after things" job, and it being a gorgeous day none of the neighbours were in to ask permission to hop over a fence or wall (there are 3 options). With everyone out, there was only the one: big fence, overgrown garden, big fence...Anyway, here's some other shit we did today. Packing and planning for me, then Paris and then maybe some maybe news. Maybe.*
Happy Mother's Day you Mothers!
In reverse order....
"I'll make myself a bed here dad....but I need all the cushions!"
I swear I'm beginning to think terrible thoughs when I hear "Dad I am hungry" in a whiny voice 10 minutes after any food of any description...
Bounce!
Today she managed to get to the top completely on her own. She watched a slightly older girl do it...copied...and then shouted "That girl teached me how dad!"...I'm very proud.
They won't see me down here
Yay for urban greenspace...nay for dumped footstool thing....
She did much running and jumping today...not all of it new shoes, but some of it. Hence, blisters and about 4 different types of footwear today.
Run!
I said...RUN!
A view.Just a quickie....there's a reason the below is from YouTube (or should be, updating right now)...you can do overdubbing...and I was too lazy to figure out the command for ffmpeg to do it (well, I knew the command but was getting a bit confused with bit-rate switches for the mp3).
In hindsight, I'm truly truly sorry for the selection....but it was the 1st in the list, was 41 seconds long, and the video 39....synchronicity. To cheesy "music".
Probably lash up a few pictures tomorrow, but with luck there'll be some "live blogging" from Gaytown next week....followed by....some "news" (or maybe not).
"Hey roofer guys, I saw you yesterday....are you being lazy?"
She loves them really....has shown them her belly and her pants at least twice!
Despite the hideous chin-growth I present....golden-ness.
Yes. Yes....i gave her a lollipop....
But she kept her 50p
Bindi.
Bhaj-eye...
Who is this?
....
........
...........it's not flo.
.....
.......
.........that's a 1 year old Esmae that....
That tricksy video is tricksy....preciousssssss.
Nod @thetek.
So. I've felt like shit most of today...not to mention The Shits! Nod again @tetek...
They deserve quote marks, but I'm too lazy/tired....Still and all, Flo and I had a wonderful day, so here's some highlights....also, found my camera which had some old pics on it...One of which is very telling.
Me & my lump just throbbed through the day...
Wales grand-slammin' last year...
Wut?!
1 year on....boo-bellies
Run...I'm in a trap...
And the next morning...breakfast!
Wut?!
I love the werbs....
But the poster turned her into "a monster fox"...
"Pretend I planted a daffodil which was dead and then came alive again with powers!"
Take an arty picture of me when I swing dad!!!
I will kill these worms in this cake...
Balancing cat is balancy!
If this really doesn't have audio on, I will kill people, with my plastic she-ra sword....it's the "a-to-the-mnomnomno-p-home-boy" ptrynbs..dgdk...wagf...ahv.hdb...aueioes!
I am jealous of the mosh.
She just got chipped...21st Century FTW!
In other news...
Actually, they got along rather well...
...but, can you say Cheeeeesssse?
Y'know in the recent PirateBay trial the defence suggested that Google is just as capable as them at finding "stuff" on the internets.
So....just paste this into teh Goog
-inurl:(htm|html|php) intitle:”index of” +”last modified” +”parent directory” +description +size +(mp3) “BAND NAME GOES HERE”
And you will find lots of lovely MP3
:-)
Remember them? They were the 3rd thing in my head this morning. The first was "Holy Fuck, what in the name of Feynman?", the second was "That sounded like someone falling on the floor" and the third was the one that started that song spinning in my bonce.
It was 4:30!
Last night Flo and Es stayed. Flo seemed really under the weather, to the extent of neither wanting dinner nor pudding, which is unheard of! Pudding is always an option in her opinion...and after a bath and reading a book in my bed, Flo decided she was too tired and sad to go to her own bed, so she would sleep in mine with Es.
Amazingly they were asleep 30 mins later and I thought I was golden.
No. 4:30 in the A of the M! That's when they decided it was morning...
So I read them the riot act: "it's still the middle of the night, you cannot have any snacks until morning time, and that is not now. Nor is it soon. Please go back to sleep now!"
At least that's what I think I said. What I probably said was: "Fnnng, Mah. Num gubba spuybs srdggeiq!".
They let me alone until 5:30, at which point I realised I was done for and just got on with porridge and The Day.
I was finally saved (at 9:30 as arranged, but boy did it feel like mid-day) by Ian, who took us off for (our) 3rd Breakfast...We then attempted to meet Baboo and head for Severn "Beach" (note quote marks....it requires them!), but due to rain and the opportune availability of an exit back off the motorway we ended up back at Baboo's house.
Where we watched "The Waterhorse"....It was OK, but then when you've sat through some of the shit I have (remake of "Stig of the Dump"? Shite!).....However, after about an hour Flo decided she was the waterhorse and basically crawled around the floor, on our legs, laps, etc growling occasionally. Rain also curtailed our trip to the farm but by that time it was worth taking the kids home to tidy up their mess, bounce on the trampoline with some balloons, (attempt to) treat Moshi like a baby human child (no chance) and generally whine a bit....
For your enjoyment, I now switch from text to image....
You have 6 hours left until we fuck you up!
But when we do....we'll be too fucking cute for you to care (much)
And we'll even share our sunglasses!
And then we will sleep on your left shoulder
And your right!
Do we look like "The Godfather"?
How d'ya like them grape cheeks?!Status Update:
- Work Crisis of the week : sorted
- Emotional Crisis of the week : sorted
- Friday Night Argument I Should Not Have Got Involved With : sorted
Fucking self-righteous Daily Mail cunts!
Sorry about the swearing mum, but I know you'd've been with me....
I have a noodle, pak-choi and sprout salad to eat...why is there no meat in my house?
I just lost half this post mid-publish. I should learn to write locally 1st instead of trusting Teh Cloud....cursed clouds!
Anyway. The gist was: France sucks, Wales = Booooo!, Cleaning, cooking, going to the park, fire, garden, cat....the weekend is over for you Mr Bond...
"Let's make a shadow palace picture dad!"
"I'm gonna ding ya!"
"Ding!"
"You made me a jungle?....thanks!"
The FUTURE!? Crisps and a UMID?
