10-4 on the 419 baby!

Flo's abed. The tubez are quiet...I should finish the iGoogle theme I'm making (so it makes F11 awesomeness on the AAO)...woOOoOooOOoo....Halloween is in teh air!

So. When I've not been working, pratting around with netbooks, offering my services to PRSC, daddying, painting and generally ranting my way through life I have been having a lovely (if incoherent) chat with a gorgeous "girl" by the name of Jennifer.

Here's a picture of "her" that came with her original mail (that somehow got through my spam-filter despite having an originating IP in Nigeria (I thought I'd ignored the entire country. Bah!))

Teh Hawtness!!

Anyway, here's the utterly brilliant, perfectly worded missive she sent:

Date: 2008/10/23
Subject: waiting to hear from you
To: retaliate_tt@yahoo.co.uk


Hi  ,

 I really appreciate reading your profile, you
sound honest and caring also. I have found it so
difficult to disclose my personalities to just people
but i guess you going to be different. My name is
Jennifer Marson, i am 5''8 tall and am Caucasian
white, am 28 years old British born in a family of 3 [
Dad, Mum and Me ]. I love listening to music whenever
am upset or angry ... maybe feeling bad about
something. We have a very lovely family full of love
and care.

My dad deals in oil business while my mum work as a
teacher in the high school in UK. I wish i could tell
you more but I'll like you to know am going through
difficulties now as my Dad and Mum are both dead.
Though ... before my dad died ... we never been happy
with each other. I've been having a problem with my
Dad who i live with but right now due to our
differences, i have left the UK after the death of my
Mom in United Kingdom. My Dad works with Oil
Contractors in UK and Africa include some parts of the
Asian and American. I work with my father as his
personal auditor and we move around for his contracts
where-ever he is awarded.

My first boy friend, Paul Smart, absconded with my
dad's money which was kept with me after a completion
of a contract in EAST London,UK. When my boy friend
got absconded with the undisclosed sum of $US dollars,
this brought the first broke up between me and my dad,
cos he thought, we have the deal together, but not
knowing that I'm an innocent about this. So my dad has
been harsh and tough against me about this.

Then when I perceived all his behaviors towards me
and the bad acts of his newly gotten wife, i decided
to leave U.K  to meet a friend in Lagos in west Africa
whom have meet during our stay there for a contract
with N.N.P.C. I  left because my dad have been
treating me bad and stopped me from working with him
even having any access to his assets, and i felt no
where to go than to leave UK. Now, I'm in need of your
help, have gotten the enough money to run myself when
I get to you over there, i want to come over to your
place and stay with you for main time, I don't want to
live here anymore, you know I'm a foreigner here and
it is absolutely dangerous for me here, so that is why
i need your gesture assistance.

How i want you to help me? I have some money, which
I've gotten from an over invoiced Contract
remuneration executed by my dad with some contractors,
so I have taken up the money from the contractors, but
I'm hiding  up from the girl I stayed with here in
Lagos-Nigeria, because i might got setup if they know
i have such huge amount of money ($8.5million), so for
me to be more safe and secure, I put this money in a
box and got it locked up  with a security code known
to me only, and I deposited the box with some of my
traveling luggage's with a Security and Insurance
Company who render private diplomatic delivery service
and i told them that the two boxes are my traveling
luggage, which I want to send oversea because I'm
returning home, then i paid them up their custody and
security fee.So, I want the box sent to you while i
catch up with you as soon as it is been delivered to
you while I pay you up your Rent charge and a
reasonable amount for compensation, only 25% of the
money in the box to you.

Every arrangement for the delivery is kinda
perfect, I have obtained customs papers for private
freight and there are seals on the box showing that it
is a private delivery and check performed, it is free
from customs checks, it will  be delivered at your
door step by the diplomats of the security company,
you do not need to burn out to receive it.

And the boxes have security codes lock known to me
only, only me can open the boxes, except if I tell
anyone the Code, so the Boxes cannot be opened on the
Way of delivery to you.     Therefore, I want you to
contact me as soon as possible, so that you can make
the Clearance from the Security Company as the
Recipient of my Boxes. And once the box gets to you, I
will be there with you, then we can open the  box
together or i will tell you the code to open it, so
that you can arrange everything properly before my
arrival.

Like I said, I will pay for your rent and fulfill
my 25% promise of the money to you.I have my proof to
make you believe me such as the security company
receipts.  I will be very glad and appreciate your
trust towards this and hoping to hear from you and to
meet you in person and that will let me know more
about you . Please, kindly make your urgent response
to my email and tell me what you feel about this so
that we can move on quickly.i hope to hearing from
you.

Thanks,

Jennifer

That email was just such a baited hook! I had to respond. Come on?!?! Super grammar, a preposterous story...a beaauuttifffaaarrrl womarn?

TehBoss goaded me on...I replied with some rubbish about damsels in distress etc (I'll maybe put the whole ting on 419 Eater if it gets proper juicy)..Anyway, I got the standard "here are my shipping details" email, to which I pointed out I live in the UK, not the US and would she still be my fiancee? I contacted the shipping company anyway...why the fuck not?

I've just had a response from both...

TO BE CONTINUED!

So. I'm content with a 45 second boot, loads of module customisation and some desktop shenanigans. It seems others aren't, hence KukiLinux (apparently pronounced "cookie linux"...personally I prefer AAOLinux (Ow! Linux)). It looks like this:

Aweseome no?

My card reader has mysteriously vanished (it's an fstab thing) but all is cool. So why would I mess with it?

Why not. We'll see what an Openbox + kustom kernel thing looks like...

Esmae's kid-happy phat-icon version is nearly sorted too, I went for the linpus +mod mode with a hacked local rc script (which'll hopefully ensure any updates wont break the good hacks).

I'm off to paint something...

Snack Time

is snacky!

Holy Crap!

Awesome. Thanks BoingBoing

I'm indulging in a bit of 419 baiting and so far it's pretty hilarious...I'll post about that soon I should think. Yay I gonna be millionarez!!

Super Girl

Is super...

Meme Me

I love memes...I also hate the fucking things beyond belief...I might have to keep this rant for later!

There's been the "stuff on my cat" meme.

There's been the "stuff my dog can balance" meme.

O I can has cheez etc but, has there ever been..."cat on my stuff"?

I zapped mosh with some (very very effective) antiparasitic (ain't that a word?) and after the 2 hours it took to "forgive" me (stupid cat) she came back, climbed on my back (and tried to make a bed) and then decided the TV was better. To be clear...the cat sat on my back (so I had to stoop) instead of my lap...and stayed there while I walked around the house (stooped over like a hunchbacked old lady).



The static discharge when I turn the box on or off does not seem to make her do much else than apparently double in size...she looks confused when I do though..

Stupid cat.

If you haven't, read anything you can find by this dude.

And then think about things for yourself!

Thumb Nazi

Flo sucks her thumb. It's fucking up her mouth.

It will stop!

We had a great weekend though...representational pictures will now follow.





We also worked on our monster chasing in the park.

"Put the phone away now!"

I love her!

But not the thumbsucking.

I am...

In the process of getting my now sub-40-second booting awesomized AAObuntu netbook (acer thing) to talk nicely with the currently slightly-bricked phone (which will be truly usable as a phone _with features_ soon...honest...one day,srsly).

Angry about my boiler being iffy...I have to keep bleeding the entire system.

Busy being "the paperboy" at work (basically, I ask somebody to fill out a form, add the projecty bits and check the techie bits, send that to someone else (copying in about 100 people) who also checks it, sends it back (and hopefully valid!) Then I send it to someone else, who sends it someone else (and hopefully returns me a "we have it" from them), who magically tells someone (who I was talking to originally and knows what is going to happen and to be honest doesn't even need to be the one doing the work because we've already told them how...and...wait...) that they have to do something [passim]...Anyway, 2 weeks later something gets done. Awesome!

Now running late for FOUND @ the 'fini.

Arse.

*

*The Game.

You lost again!

The Game

Ahahha. Hahahaha. Nerd.

OK. You didn't get that joke. Probably. Unless you are Tek (did you get it?). Maybe...

I have been told to tell the internet (and only a fool thinks "the internet" reads my blog. Foolz! :) about "The Game".

I started this post a while ago...and I believe this is either "coaching" or "grooming" in terms of blogging.

The Game*, is a game I play with Flo. And in my head...with myself. It's like onanism, but with no touching...Wait, did I just mention touching myself and my daughter in the same paragraph? This is all sounding so wrong...

Psychologists and other people, the latter generally more intelligent than me, probably invented this game. But for now, it is my game.

We have 2 subjects/players: A and B.
A: Food to eat?
B: Bacon
A: Eggs
B: Cabbage
etc.

e.g. Word association games....if you say something that doesn't fit the category the person who chose it gets to change it.
[cont]
A: Popcorn
B: Macdonalds
A: MAJOR FUCKING ERROR!!!
A: Rivers of The World!
A: Amazon
B: ebay
A: Fail!

When I play on my own, it's:
A: OMA Management Objects and their publication status?
B: CP, FUMO, SCOMO, DiagMon, SC
A: And?
B: Agh you fuck!
...
B: LaWMO
A: And?
...
B: I fucking hate you!

Then, also...
A: Every Queen album in chronological order?
B: Queen, Queen II, Night at the Opera or maybe Day at the races....or that other one.
A: Haha ha. Wait...

But you can also awesome it up:
Me (after 15 minutes of "animals on a farm", "things i can see with my eyes", etc and so much traffic-noise neither of us can hear, seeing a sign for some kind of cinammon donut snack thing): Simian Bums?
Flo: Monkeys bottom.
Me: Pardon?
Me: Flo?
Flo: You mustn't say "bum". Not in this area. [indicates path, road, M32...sits on hands and pretends to go to sleep]
Me: ROFLMAO!
Me: What should I say Flo? Flo? Flo?
Flo: Parts of monkeys.
Me: [?..]
Flo: I can see a pollution!

Carboot Circus

That's where we went this weekend.

Pleased!

Having serendipitously bumped into Liz on Saturday and gone for Soup & Tea with her at the caff, I decided a visit to the Halls Of Capitalism was in order for the Sunday. Plus I heard that there was a YoSushi there...and I fucking love sushi. With or without the Yo!

So sue me.

In an extra OMFG! moment there were also some Stormtroopers hanging around (apparently David Prowse was in one of the shops somewhere signing autographs or some shit...James Earl Jones would have been better cos you can see ol' Prowsey down Trowbridge way any old day of the week (I don't know this, I overheard an old biddy)). One of aforementioned Stormtroopers told Flo (who was shrinking against my leg) that she was not the droid he was looking for...made my day!

Uncle Joe has provided some tat's.

We did some gardening also...

And put some makeup on.

And some shades

Here we are hanging out in the Halls Of Capitalism (she steadfastly refused to call it anything other than Carboot Circus).

Yo! Dat Sushi?

Off to "fetch some firewood"....apparently

I WILL BREAK YOUR HEART WITH MY AWESOME SMILE!!!!!11!one!

The following videos are awesome in too many ways to count...

Cleaning my cabbages.

Yaaarfgh!!

And so but well. That is the point!

PANIC!

Heat

Goddammnmn this acer is fuckin hot with the quiet fan mod in place....mind you it was pretty hot beforehand, so hopefully it's just down to the general "a laptop is not really a laptop, you shoud put it on a table in front of you" thing, and my legs are just fouling up the vents, etc.

I have some mint video and pictures.

They will follow...

I Shit You Not

This is a rain hat!


We got very dirty today. Mainly as a protest to my heating/hot-water being broken...

Pie Finger

I am well busy at the moment. Well busy. My fingers are in a few pies. Some of which are hot, others cold.

Moshi is asleep on the end of Flo's bed. Who in turn is sprawled recklessly on her back, snoring with the quiet childsnore, seemingly overwhelmed by her duvet.

I saw a dead (and very bloated) cat the other day! At first I thought it was a discarded stuffed animal but as the smell impinged on my nostrils, I realised that (what I had just decided might only be a very very fat very sleepy cat) was actually a totally dead, stomach-gas filled, dead cat. On the pavement.

Mind you, at the time, I was walking through what seemed like a cross between a layby, a truck-drivers pissoir, a whorehouse and the main route into town (Lyon).

Awesome. Work trips, eh?

I got so hacked off with kernel/module hacking I've gone back to the Linpus install on AAO. But I'm using it as an opportunity to write a custom "post-install script" (something like Automatix was for Ubuntu)...and a chance to mess with 8.10 (and as I speak, right now, a debian build!) as a USB thumbdrive boot.

Must dash. I want to stuff some spinach with quinoa before bed.

Fucking hippy.