Wednesday, October 29, 2008

10-4 on the 419 baby!

Flo's abed. The tubez are quiet...I should finish the iGoogle theme I'm making (so it makes F11 awesomeness on the AAO)...woOOoOooOOoo....Halloween is in teh air!

So. When I've not been working, pratting around with netbooks, offering my services to PRSC, daddying, painting and generally ranting my way through life I have been having a lovely (if incoherent) chat with a gorgeous "girl" by the name of Jennifer.

Here's a picture of "her" that came with her original mail (that somehow got through my spam-filter despite having an originating IP in Nigeria (I thought I'd ignored the entire country. Bah!))

Teh Hawtness!!

Anyway, here's the utterly brilliant, perfectly worded missive she sent:

Date: 2008/10/23
Subject: waiting to hear from you

Hi ,

I really appreciate reading your profile, you
sound honest and caring also. I have found it so
difficult to disclose my personalities to just people
but i guess you going to be different. My name is
Jennifer Marson, i am 5''8 tall and am Caucasian
white, am 28 years old British born in a family of 3 [
Dad, Mum and Me ]. I love listening to music whenever
am upset or angry ... maybe feeling bad about
something. We have a very lovely family full of love
and care.

My dad deals in oil business while my mum work as a
teacher in the high school in UK. I wish i could tell
you more but I'll like you to know am going through
difficulties now as my Dad and Mum are both dead.
Though ... before my dad died ... we never been happy
with each other. I've been having a problem with my
Dad who i live with but right now due to our
differences, i have left the UK after the death of my
Mom in United Kingdom. My Dad works with Oil
Contractors in UK and Africa include some parts of the
Asian and American. I work with my father as his
personal auditor and we move around for his contracts
where-ever he is awarded.

My first boy friend, Paul Smart, absconded with my
dad's money which was kept with me after a completion
of a contract in EAST London,UK. When my boy friend
got absconded with the undisclosed sum of $US dollars,
this brought the first broke up between me and my dad,
cos he thought, we have the deal together, but not
knowing that I'm an innocent about this. So my dad has
been harsh and tough against me about this.

Then when I perceived all his behaviors towards me
and the bad acts of his newly gotten wife, i decided
to leave U.K to meet a friend in Lagos in west Africa
whom have meet during our stay there for a contract
with N.N.P.C. I left because my dad have been
treating me bad and stopped me from working with him
even having any access to his assets, and i felt no
where to go than to leave UK. Now, I'm in need of your
help, have gotten the enough money to run myself when
I get to you over there, i want to come over to your
place and stay with you for main time, I don't want to
live here anymore, you know I'm a foreigner here and
it is absolutely dangerous for me here, so that is why
i need your gesture assistance.

How i want you to help me? I have some money, which
I've gotten from an over invoiced Contract
remuneration executed by my dad with some contractors,
so I have taken up the money from the contractors, but
I'm hiding up from the girl I stayed with here in
Lagos-Nigeria, because i might got setup if they know
i have such huge amount of money ($8.5million), so for
me to be more safe and secure, I put this money in a
box and got it locked up with a security code known
to me only, and I deposited the box with some of my
traveling luggage's with a Security and Insurance
Company who render private diplomatic delivery service
and i told them that the two boxes are my traveling
luggage, which I want to send oversea because I'm
returning home, then i paid them up their custody and
security fee.So, I want the box sent to you while i
catch up with you as soon as it is been delivered to
you while I pay you up your Rent charge and a
reasonable amount for compensation, only 25% of the
money in the box to you.

Every arrangement for the delivery is kinda
perfect, I have obtained customs papers for private
freight and there are seals on the box showing that it
is a private delivery and check performed, it is free
from customs checks, it will be delivered at your
door step by the diplomats of the security company,
you do not need to burn out to receive it.

And the boxes have security codes lock known to me
only, only me can open the boxes, except if I tell
anyone the Code, so the Boxes cannot be opened on the
Way of delivery to you. Therefore, I want you to
contact me as soon as possible, so that you can make
the Clearance from the Security Company as the
Recipient of my Boxes. And once the box gets to you, I
will be there with you, then we can open the box
together or i will tell you the code to open it, so
that you can arrange everything properly before my

Like I said, I will pay for your rent and fulfill
my 25% promise of the money to you.I have my proof to
make you believe me such as the security company
receipts. I will be very glad and appreciate your
trust towards this and hoping to hear from you and to
meet you in person and that will let me know more
about you . Please, kindly make your urgent response
to my email and tell me what you feel about this so
that we can move on quickly.i hope to hearing from



That email was just such a baited hook! I had to respond. Come on?!?! Super grammar, a preposterous story...a beaauuttifffaaarrrl womarn?

TehBoss goaded me on...I replied with some rubbish about damsels in distress etc (I'll maybe put the whole ting on 419 Eater if it gets proper juicy)..Anyway, I got the standard "here are my shipping details" email, to which I pointed out I live in the UK, not the US and would she still be my fiancee? I contacted the shipping company anyway...why the fuck not?

I've just had a response from both...


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