Guriwagon

Transport is arranged

Lag

Fuck. I've just spent 30 minutes trying to draw a plot of my journey today but the length of the day (Romania = GMT+2, so I was awake at 5am UK time (in Romania), but went to bed at 11 Romanian! Hardcore! ;), a crazy Romanian taxi driver, a 3 hour plane ride, the timezone change, the (easy) trip back from Heathrow, and typing this sentence have completely ruined me....also 4 scrotes (Romanian Lei, to you) = 1 english pound....and 1 pint = 6 scrotes...you do the maths...

G'Night!

PS. Only saw 4 gypsies....met a man called Katie, who reports to someone Dogrescu (ahahahahaaahaaa!)

Sorry.

But I want to put it in my mouth...

This post might get a bit random, but I'm hesitant to post any more references to "Randomness & Autofelation" (not that I am blowing my own trumpet...I hope) given the number of sick fucks that end up here having searched for "autofelatio how to" or "ginger autofelation video". I'm not joking...I should probably stick AdSense back on here and see what kind of awsomely weird ad's it decides to serve up.

Lil's off with her Ma visiting "Grumpy Grandad" so there'll probably not be any child-related stuff up here until the weekend, so you can leave now if that's what you came here for.

My new work timetable seems to be working out nicely. It was kind of forced on me by a change in "the (free) bus to work" times, but it's worked out so far (3 days and counting). I get to work for 7:30, which enables me to merrily get on with sorting out the crap email from the stuff I actually need to do, get on with one of those annoying "tracker" tasks that just never seem to get done unless you are able to sit in silence. Well, I say silence, but I usually stick some fucking loud 'heavy' music on and hammer the keyboard like a demented blacksmith. On crack. Then gradually ease myself into everyone else's day (bearing in mind France is GMT +1), get on with shit and catch the 1st bus back at 3:45. This doesn't mean I've finished for the day though (unfortunately), there's usually a teleconference or two to join and so that I am ethically spotless (well, mainly so I don't get caught out by a nasty email that causes my first "work thought" of the day to be "Oh fucking hell, you utter cunt!") I still allow push mail to the phone until 6pm.

But it does mean that I can chill in the garden for a bit and then get on with my usual evening activities...typing some random shit up here, pissing about with guitars/pianos/what-have-you, reading (currently engrossed in quantum electrodynamics...yes, I heard you sigh there) or watching duff TV...the usual. And I'm kind of OK with getting up just after 6...especially now it's not dark. Or pissing down with rain all the time. That shit's just depressing.

In other news. I'm off to Bratislava with Teh B055 next week. Should be a laugh, especially as he managed to choose a date (and constrained by flights) which means the 2nd (and last) day is a Slovakian Bank Holiday...so I'm hoping we just"might as well go to the pub"...The post is provisionally titled "I went to Bratislava and didn't get butt-raped by Gypsies"...but I don't want to jinx myself.

And so, dear reader, I must away to make myself some kedgeree...and remain in a state of denial about finishing my kitchen floor.

I have already taught myself the slovak for "Beer please" (Prosim Pivo) and am looking forward to my first visit to a country where the word for water is almost the same as Vodka (in english at least)...Awesome!

It went a little something like this...

As usual, what I expect a work trip to be like is not how it goes. I thought I'd thought of every conceivable combination of joys and woes this time round, but now I realise the one true answer is to go with the flow...

...Which reminds me, hopefully I'll get a bit of time with Flo tomorrow as I'm WFH and then being a bit slack due to time in lieu (love that phrase...and the concept...it is, after all, fair: I missed my Flo-night this week coz I had to go to Lyon for work).

Long story short, it went a little something like this....

Tuesday 13th March:
- 8am-2pm Work
- Teh B055man (hereon in aka TB) drives us to the airport in Landy (so slow!)
- TB and I get gypped at Security due to no plastic bags (deliberate rebellion on our part, heh!)
- Couple of pints of the black stuff in honour of St Patrick
- Flight....free glass o' wine and a heated-to-the-core-of-a-star temperature shitwich
- Lands a bit early, yay!
- But still think we have to rush for connecting flight in Brussels...have to walk miles and go through passport control and then security again (ALL airports suck....they're just misery-channels!)
- Get to gate, which conveniently has a bar right next to it with time to spare for 2 more (Belgian this time) beers
- We've gained an hour too, remember...Flight...'nother free glass o' wine, but this time with nice sandwiches (swapped one with TB so I had no evil tomato)
- Land, Taxi, Hotel...
- 2 seconds after walking into hotel room, text from TB: Bar?
- 2 minutes later: in bar
- 4 or 5 beers and a double whisky...chat shit...Pissed! Right! Up!...barely remember going to room....
- Bed. Tortured sleep. Left curtains open, am entwined in 7 billion sheets and blankets, hungover!

Wednesday 14th March:
- Shower, breakfast, coffee, fags.....pay bill...WAHAY!!! Barman forgot to charge us a single thing!!!
- Walk a mile or so to the meeting place with a decidedly rough (read: still drunk) TB
- 10-5 Meeeeeeetttttt--tttttttiiing!......amazingly not incredibly dull, but marred by constant drilling and hammering as offices are rebuilt around us....and a wierd-ass lunch-in-a-box
- Taxi, Airport....Oh Noes!!!
- Flight late (and we only have 30 odd mins to change flights). Free wine and sanger again though ;)
- Literally run a kilometre to get to Passport control, and then another to get to Security...get to gate with 10 mins to spare....a small delay t the plane thank god....time for a quick Amstel!
- Phone Missman I am so overjoyed I haven't missed flight!
- Flight. Free glass of wine....but I need coffee even though it's 10pm or something. Nuclear shitwich again.
- Land, usual malarkey with passport, bid farewell to TB and head for Taxi place. Got my hour back now, so it's 10ish.
- Tearful french woman, huge queue and nobody admitting to speaking french....so I did my good samaritan thing (I spikka da lanwich loike a nayeteev!) and found someone who was going the same way so they could split the £100 (!!!) taxi fare...
- Taxi...Home....Bed!!!

Today...up at 6 and in work by 8 :(

If you enjoyed that little summary of one of my so-called "jollies"...so the name is partially justified...stay tuned next week for: "Paris in a day!" and the week after that is sure to be "My Eastern Bloc Hell: Romania AND bust!".

That is all!

Spring-A-Ling-A-Ding-Dong

Seems Spring is here. Today at least...

Thank You Sara!

A nice Friday to complement a rather busy week and then a Saturday morning mooch with Missman. Went a bit bonkers with dinner after Rosie dropped Flo off; I kept cooking various things until I realised the time, so we had:

Steamed Tuna with some roasted lime, slow-cooked onions & PepPers, sweetcorn, rice with nori flakes and hemp seeds and some sprouting brocolli on the side...some apple a bit later on for pudding.

A big bath with lots of 'bupples' [which must be said in an almost reverential whisper]

Today, after porridge and Bagpuss we bumbled about until the morning nap, then I attempted to tidy up before our lunchdate at BFC with Missman...I did most of the eating, Flo chased a boy in circles for a while and then we decamped (via mine for the buggy as 0.005mph is no speed for an adult) to the Farm where goats ate Flo's shoes and most animals (except 'Pik!' & 'Dak-Dak!') were ominously absent.


Just gimme a sec, yeah?...

A pint! A pint on a Sunday afternoon....in the sunshine (ish)....for about 30 seconds it was pure bliss...the rest was just fairly amazing. Makeup skillz for the Missman...I may need to buy a lipstick for those occasional 'Oh Noes, what's left to entertain Flo?' moments!

Back home, where we both napped for an hour, before taking her back to Rose with a bonus 200Gb of media goodness....off to Lyon this week, though I fear I'll be stuck in airports having missed connections most of the time (I mean, come on, 30 mins between 1 landing and next take-off....twice? On the last flights of the day?....)

I wish I had a picture of Teh Chile in the corduroy jacket with the pink turnups and the lilac summer hat...you'll have to use your imagination unless you saw it.


It's not shitting, it's not fitting....all I want is...MEH MEH MEH!

If YouTube is being ghey again please click here to access a video of Flo (which in retrospect looks less safe than it did at the time) having a go on a slide...

Reuters Blok

I've spent most of the day with a blog post in the back of my mind, but for the life of me I'm not able to start it right now. Probably due to the quick dash to Belgium earlier this week, a technical document to finish and the general onslaught of work. Off to Lyons next week, with some interesting 30 minute between flights connections!

And I kinda got stagefright. Thanks Reader....joking.

I'll say this much though; I love being The Daddy...Here's just a few reasons why:

- I was about to do the (mountain of) washing up, when Flo sidled up to me lifted her arms and asked, "Daddy cuddle?"...that took a good half an hour. Washing up still not done.
- Bupples!....in the Bart!
- Watching her demolish the food I lovingly created (and not caring about spillage)
- Watching her demolish the lovingly crafted tower of wooden blocks I made her
- Dancing with her....and her dancing on me
- Tickles
- Snuggling on the sofa in 'jamas' with a book
- The way she runs for her milk when I say "It's time for bed"

In other news...I have nothing to report except that the hair has been very well received...look at these instead, I'm off to snooze on the sofa til it's safe to re-use the bathwater (topped up with piping hotness natch) and wind up smelling of lavender.


Her dinner...there's nori flakes and lemon on the rice to counteract my guilt at the breadcrumbed fish.


Halfway through...I'd eaten mine at this point and was tidying up and forgot to do the 'after' pic.


So here's a shot from the other day. She's definitely a girl, what with her love for 'shOOsh', 'booTS', 'begs' and 'haTs'...

In true 'overly proud parent' style here is a (bad) video of the lady herself in conversation...shame she refused to say Bupples more than once as she'd been saying little else all night.

I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass!

Thanks to Yo La Tengo for the title.

I occasionally threaten to post some of the more random things I come across on these here intertubes...you got the linky linky thing over there on the right, but here's some random goodness from YouTube.

Ruby Ruby Ruby....for me Dad

Baby got back!...for err....

Mad acoustic styling....bit like Rodrigo y Gabriela...courtesy of Tek

I have a love/hate thing with the whole Web 2.0 "long tail" stuff, but this is an awesome video!

This vidyo for Teh Missman

And this for Teh Chile


Awesome ringtones from TMBG, courtesy of Wired.

In other news, I've got a new monitor coming (yum) and some more storage...which takes me well into 2 Terrabytes...meh, the Mac keeps whingeing about disk space and there's been a flurry of activity on the TorrentMachine for some reason ;)

...it's time to sort out the technodesk (again)...I'll maybe post some pics when it's done...don't hold your breath though. These things take a lot of procrastination, I mean, time...I've also learned far more than I really need to know about Master Boot Records, GRUB, Windows MBR and generally horrid things about hard drives. You haven't asked, so I wont tell you why.

I have been having a truly Kafka-esque return to work. Not that I've turned into a beetle, but the truly stunning levels of bureaucracy displayed by certain un-named french individuals/teams. Fuckers!

Belgium, France and Romania all pretty much confirmed this month. Please don't mention my carbon footprint! Speaking of that environment stuff (it all goes on outside my windows apparently) I think I might have come up with a blog meme..."What's in your bin?"...So far this week, I have:

- 1 piece of scrumpled up cellophane
- Fluff, dust & hair from sweeping up
- An ashtray's worth of fag-butts and incense ash

The recycling is another matter :)

I found this blogpost really touching....it's not a whole lot like my sitch, but I felt much the same when Flo was born...his blog is good too (if you're a dad I guess) and he says fuck now and again too. As we all should (sorry kids).

I might get round to sharing my semi-secret parent blogs at some point...it will damage my hard man image though.

Missman has been handed the reins with regard to the locks...I mean someone had to. I can only remember going to the hairdressers once in the last 6 or 7 years (and I seem to remember that was only to stop Bucky moaning about my scruffy, wooly, hairy selfness) as it's been either shaved (which made me look like I was terminally ill...heh) or "cut what you can see in the mirror" by me...oh and Rosie had a hack at my 'spaniel ears' two years ago.

I've started beta-testing a mates new venture into the online world and it's quite good fun...might post out some invites when it gets a bit less beta...or 'Dirty' as it's currently classed.

Run Away!


You may well get some pictures later today or tomorrow...though you may have to wait til the weekend to see more of Teh Byootifarl Won