Work's A Bitch

So we wont go there...instead, here are some pictures.


I'm working on the tracklist for a "mixtape" for your delectaction/ridicule [delete as applicable]. I'll try to get it together for the end of the month!

She aint Ginger!

...but she's angry!

I lol'd...

We had a lovely japanese style soup affair for dinner...prawns, tuna, haddock, sugar snaps, brocolli and noodles lightly poached in a vegetable broth with some ginger (or "spice" as Flo calls it) and lime...it was delicious!

Insert SEXUAL_ACT into ANIMAL where PICTURES equal HAIRCOLOUR

A small personal reference to the more prevalent Google searches bringing traffix my way...that Autofelation post is doing better than I'd ever thought possible! Mostly in terms of lonely teenage boys (just guessing) from France or Argentina (not guessing)...Tigers, Lions and Tattoos are also quite popular hits; by far the best is "ginger lion cunts", closely followed by "angry ginger cocks"....perhaps the last was a deliberate attempt to find me.

In other news, the new work laptop is working out better than I could have hoped. Dual-core, decent RAM, XP not Vista...but still a corporate build, ugh...lighter, quieter and with a swishy wide screen though I'm still not convinced by the layout for the "nipple"/buttons/trackpad, and Page Up/Down and the cursor buttons are, well, too close and confusing. I really don't need a powerful laptop for work these days because I essentially spend my time using hideously unwieldy Excel spreadsheets that do arcane Windows/VB stuff with a Web App, attempt to become a PowerPoint demon (instead of the "hello, i am technical...here are some pictures and poorly explained acronyms" style I have cultivated), Email and Web/RSS...oh and I draw things using Dia.

I started this post intending to simply point everyone to Tek's reminiscence post here...way too many of my own favourites to pass up the opportunity to just link....I've been thinking of doing a "mixtape" thing for a while now. I'm pretty certain only Gaz will ever bother downloading it, but maybe I'll just do it...what is copyright anyway?

Those tiger pictures, by the way, are awesome! Nice one bro....

Tigers

Sometimes I envy my brother's "job"....he got to play with some Sumatran tiger cubs the other day...

In Which I Embarass My Daughter...

...well maybe when she's older.

Lil Communication

I'd write loads of stuff here about how the Friday night swap was a really good lauch and how much fun we had on Saturday morning...and how I went to Teh Pub on Saturday afternoon to watch the rugby (yay!) and had 4 pints...and how my evening slipped into a mess...and about how I woke up early on Sunday morning, watched Superbad and then did a load of gardening...but I'm having laptop issues, and I need to go pick up the new one in abit.

So, herewith some piccies....

Approximate Mong Scale 3

That has to be one of many of my favourite lines from "Flash"....such an awesome film, and it's on in the background as I write this.

It's also a fitting description of how I feel right now. Let me explain....

Esmae came to stay on Friday night as well as Flo for the weekend. Totally planned, expected and worked out pretty well, but I have new-found respect for anyone who has more than 1 kid...and especially for people like Rosie, who appear to cope so admirably with 2 kids between 5 and 2!!

I'm knackered...but we all (on average) had an awesome time. I shall now endeavour to illustrate this...

Apparently, me with a mouthful of blueberries is the scariest thing in the world!

So, that was Saturday breakfast (like 7 am!)...The night before that we wore cardboard crowns, behaved like gorillas, ate our dinner and did some drawing. You can distribute those activities as you see fit...



After the screaming and subsequent watching of "Howl's Moving Castle", wherein I witnessed Flo attempting to describe what was happening to Esmae:

Flo: "She's a little girl and an old lady. There's the big big circle....and a fire. Little boy...He's got a beard"
Esmae: "Ben, what is this?"
Flo: "Look Esmae, toonip'ed!! Too'ped!"
Me: "Turniphead"
Esmae: "What is this?"
Me: "Shall we go to the park?"

...we went to the park...


Note that this post does not reflect all the arguing, crying, demands to "ride the elephant", whose turn it is to go on the slide or the swings...it's like a Disney version of my life...or a Flash Gordon version...in my mind.

Es went back to her mum's that morning and Flo (who was in inexplicable toddler tear-hell) and I came home an went to bed for a bit...well I had the sofa downstairs.

We did a load of gardening, and then on Sunday I found my HP digital camera...so we took that to the farm, park and cafe...then back home for more laffs....





I could not, for the life of me, figure out where Flo'd stashed the Monk Machine, so I followed her...much to her annoyance!

Yay Coke!...Wait....WTF?!

Seen in the work canteen....they should add a strapline: "May not work with Broadcom Wifi chipsets" :)

No, I didn't buy one....a quid for a coke?

Fuck that!

Long Time No Sea

Heh... The tide's been out on posts for a while...what can I say? I've been busy office-wise, life-wise and what-wise...

Flo and I ventured to deepest, darkest Devon for the weekend to visit Granny Jan and Grandad....Flo was expecting cake at each stage of the journey, was not sick "inna your car grandad...you got glasses...random random random...."

Waiting at Exeter station for Grandad...

I chased Flo like a Lion!

She sells sea shells...

Far far away.....Granny Jan and Flo in the distance (I went for a piss behind a fishing boat)...

The Adventurer

A bath was required after all that fresh air.

Looking for the cat...a scaredy cat (see the video below)

On the train home..."I give the ticket to the train man?"

We got back to mine and she was asleep in the buggy, so I hoisted her out and we snoozed on the sofa while The Fall of The Roman Empire whispered away in the background.

Can I Have An Egg With That?

Finally, I'm pretty certain I know what/why/how a "flame" is...at least enough for me to stop reading Carl Sagan and Richard Feynman (if anything's a god it's them)...for a while.

Wait...you want to know?

Basically, Carbon and Oxygen love each other so much that they [atoms] smash together whenever they get close (because they get excited by energy...that's a whole new kettle of monkeys) and that's giving off photons etc...while producing Carbon Monoxide, which (and I love this) can happen at the same time as hooking up with a second Oxygen atom...which causes an even bigger "bang".

Yay Carbon!

But wait...there's more: Is it plasma?

Ah, who gives a fuck...I've developed some kind of (unwanted) ability to generate work for myself...drat those pesky frogs!

And marketing types...

Have a good weekend!

Verbal

Can't be arsed to type much....too busy.....agh!

Wearing part of the robot costume I am making her....

Chillin' wi' me puddin'!

She's trying to tell me about "Howl's Moving Castle"....wtf the "big circle" is I have no idea

It's My Tuuuuuuuuurrrrrn!!!!!

Not being an anthropologist, behaviourologist or psychologoist....or, in fact, an ologist of any sort I would posit that "sharing" and "patience" are not intrinsic to human nature. By way of evidence I give you....multiple toddlers and only one slide.

Let's just say that dehydration from crying was a possibility.

In other news...

Early morning bridge activity...

...and mud...

...and ice...

I did some hairstylin'...and Flo had some frozen blueberries...

Check it!

This is Flo's "garden" apparently....she got really narky when I swept it up!

20 Years

I didn't get a chance to watch the Wales v England game on Saturday. But I did have a small tear in my eye when I heard the result on the 10 o'clock news...I remember watching the game 20 years ago, the last time Wales beat them at Twickenham, with my grandad.

Naturally, I was in buoyant mood on Sunday...and despit the cold we did many many interesting things. A photo essay (of sorts) follows....

The Horse Man Statue

I touch it?

"It's cold!"

Waiting for the Museum to open

Running around to keep warm

Looking at the aeroplane...and the people

Eating blueberries...I came back from the kitchen to see that she had put her money in the trolley. Apparently the trolley was watching the Iron Giant on TV...I asked for a blueberry and after she had hunted out the smallest one she passed it to me with the words: "Here's your little one". Bless!

This is some crazy-ass machine that plays various buddhist chants...or songs as Flo calls them

And we played with the trains too...

There may not be any snow...

....bah.

But I picked up a bargain....for Flo.


Note: Picture nabbed from the advert...too lazy to get my camera out